


mistaken choices

by Wishfulthinker1



Category: The X-Files RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-02-16 00:20:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13042599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wishfulthinker1/pseuds/Wishfulthinker1
Summary: you think you have made the right choice, but it might not always be the case





	mistaken choices

She could sense him in the room, instantly recognizing that involuntary spasm occurring at the pit of her stomach, border lining her uterus that seems to be reserved only for him. She was sure if anyone were to look into that same place from within, laparoscopically they would find his unique historical branding. Her heart starts pounding just a bit faster than it's usual tempo with a mixture of glee and anger meshed together. 

There was no denying the way she felt when he was around. The ultimate feel of being safe and warm and loved unconditionally, appreciated and enveloped in such generosity that at times she wondered what she had ever done to deserve him in her life.he encompasses the unique ability to melt all those British walls of protection she was accustomed to in her life across the pond. Just one look of his with that glitter in his eyes that reflects to her the wonder he sees in her and it's like dynamite shattering through the rough exterior leaving nothing but the childish innocence and youthful components that reside within her. When he looks at her that way she can't help but like herself. With one look alone he encourages her to stop running, to just be present, savoring the moment, her mind quiets down, her body becomes less restless, more accepting and with the gratuitous need to be there for him, with him in any shape or form  
that he would allow. 

His absence throws her violently into the hardened version of herself, making it impossible to look at herself in the mirror and not seeing one of the many foreign faces she has adopted over the years with the help of her skill and profession. Anything to mask her true self, the world she lived in doesn't feel safe enough for that. No, that would do only in the world he created around the both of them when they were together, an island within a bubble, with a secret language that no one possessed the knowledge of deciphering.   
These days his presence isn't strong enough to keep that bubble sealed, her anger managed to seep in and intertwine itself with reference to him in her life. It was her own doing and looking at him right now felt like pointing a guilty finger at herself meshed with anger and frustration. If she had only known the implications of what seemed like a brilliant plan back then, and how it would backfire she would have never agreed to publicly link her name to Peter Morgan's let alone parade with him through the streets of Italy and exposing herself in such an innocent manner. While in the moment she shoved any potentially ill consequences out of her mind. She was a woman on a mission on the streets of Portafino. She kept telling herself it was a small price to pay, but at the end she would throw everyone off track, give the paparazzi what they wanted and then some. Anything to be able to get focus off her and David and not have them freak out anytime they were spotted in the same room, jeopardizing their inflatable fragile bubble. She wished for days of anonymity, and since there was no way to turn back the clock on that she chose what she perceived to be the next best thing. The strength of her conviction brought her to board a plane with a man she would never have been remotely physically attracted to, taking on a role of a woman in a newly found relationship. The sheer frustration of the text he sent her that morning made her take everything to the extreme as she usually did when she was flustered. Pushing her boundaries aside she bated Peter using crude feminine tactics and her piercing blue eyes as her arsenal. It didn't take long before body parts were exposed and some intimate contact was caught through the camera lens. At that very moment, even as her playful smile stayed plastered on her face she could feel her heart shattering into a million pieces as she recalled the words on the screen of her telephone- "I want u here with me NOW, I don't want to wait another week. 

So now and pretty much everyday since the paparazzi pics made their way to the headlines she wakes up with a sense of self loathing, trying to forget that look in his eyes the night she FaceTimed him right before the pics were to be released. She warned him, not even trying to spare him. He assured her he was ok with it, she was an actress, this was a role for the camera and also for the greater good, that he too will be relieved not to have journalists prying as to the reasons why friends kiss each other hello on the mouth. But looking into his eyes through the telephone screen she could tell she had crushed his spirit, that familiar light in his eyes was almost diminished. She just wished it would all work out for the best. She never imagined it would potentially more harmful than intended.  
And there he was, climbing into her bed, seeking the comfort of her after a long nightly shoot. Spooning her from behind, resting his chin into the crook of her neck inhaling the scent of her in. She can feel his body relax against hers as he exhales. His hand snakes around her waist, his touch soothing and undemanding brings a rush of emotion through her core, shaking her from  
Within, dampening her eyes slightly.   
She turns to face him, detecting a faint smile on his lips, moving her body close to him, she soaks up the heat radiating off his skin. she strokes his cheek with a tenderness reserved only for him, seeks out his lips in the dark with a deep need to erase all that she has done wrong by him, silently praying that one day she would succeed.


End file.
